A good day yesterday and aiming for another today...

Well I have really been struggling lately and it showed on the scales Thurs with a whopping great gain of 2.3! Even after that I struggled for a couple of days but finally had a good day points wise yesterday so hoping maybe I'm back on track. I'm certainly feeling a lot more positive today! Wow it's scary when the motivation suddenly just goes. It's like one day I'm fine and the next it's all downhill and feeling like I can't get back on track. Scary stuff. But ... am still hanging in there and still planning on staying there! Not expecting much of a loss this week - but some will be better than none and certainly better than a gain but hoping by the following week it will have evened out again and I'll be back under that dreaded 10kg!
Started off as a beautiful sunny day here today but now it's clouding over and feels like the temperature is dropping! Hope everyone has a great day. TNT xoxo

AAAHHHH!

That's the sound of me screaming at myself! This week has been terrible. I thought I could make amends by being really strict and all that's happened is I have been ok during the day then completely lost it once I've been home. Two huge binges in two days and no way in hell I wont gain at weigh in tomorrow night. I don't even want to go! What happened to the positive mind set I was talking about just a few short days ago???
I'm really scared as I know this is my old pattern coming back to haunt me again. I can lose 10kg easily then just lose the plot. Was so determined NOT to do that this time but it seems almost out of my control. HELP!!!

well so much for staying on track...

I fell off the rails completely with two nights of takeaways and lots and lots of alcohol! Had an awesome weekend if you don't count the food though lol. Oh well picked myself up, brushed myself off and back on track today. Going to be VERY strict over next few days until weigh in to see if I can hopefully prevent a gain or if not @ least minimize it! The real difference for me this time is my mindset I think - previously I would have thought "oh well that's it I've blown it now..." and that would have been it. But NO MORE!!! Onwards and downwards lol. TNT xoxo

I'm still here!

Hi all. Sorry have been really slack at updating this blog lately but I am still around and still losing! 10.5 kg to date so far!
Things were a little up and down the for a bit a couple of weeks ago but the motivation seems to have come back thank goodness so still chugging along.
After 5 weeks of really good losses I only lost 400g this past week so was a little dissapointed with that but it was also a bit of a wake up call for me too. Had a couple of just ok weeks but still lost well so was thinking I could get away with it lol. Then last week I was really good and had my smallest ever loss so I'm figuring it probably caught up with me!
Off to Wellington to stay with a friend for the weekend so even though I know it will be a little more difficult to stay on track away from home I'm confident that I can do it!
Will post again when I get back and let you all know how it went. Take care everyone and those who are Kiwis enjoy your long weekend! Not sure if you get it in Oz??? TNT xoxo

Can feel that motivation slipping

and I'm scared! Got far too much weight to lose to be feeling like that. And why do I? It's not like it's hard to eat healthily or stay within points. Today on the way home from work I called into McD's a bought a burger, then came home and went to sleep. An old habit that I haven't done since joining WW. Was a very busy day @ work and I was very tired but still... Mind you I didn't get the fries or coke that I normally would have so I guess that's an improvement. Just been little things in the past few weeks - the odd uncounted treat, the decreasing amount of excercise, and my mindset that worry me that i'm starting to lose motivation. History says I do this around the 10kg mark and I have no idea why. This time I really want to get over that and carry on. Anyone have any suggestions, tips, arse kicking thoughts for me???

Good loss depite bad week!

Well I'm not quite sure how but despite my not so great week I had another really good loss last night at WI!?! Am obviously pleased but a little surprised as I honestly thought I'd be lucky to stay the same - if not put on! Let's hope it doesn't all catch up this week lol.
Have decided I'm going to try extra hard this week as I want to wipe out my next two goals - got .9 to lose to get to 5% goal and 1.4 to lose to reach 10kg goal so if I can do that I will be ecstatic! (1.4 is my smallest loss so far so should be achievable if I put my mind to it).
At WW meeting last night we had to tell the person next to us what we intended to do this week and I committed to going to the gym twice this week so that is my goal for this week. Aqua aerobics Tues and Thurs and gym today and at least one other day!
Ok well better go get myself organised then as I 'm not working today and I find it is very easy to waste the whole day and achieve bugger all! Hope eveyone is well and has a great day. TNT xoxo

P.S.

I did manage to drink only water at the 70th on the weekend so that was fantastic and no hangover either - was just the supper where I went a little crazy! Oh well could easily have been both and I have to remember - it took me nearly 40 years to get to this size so it aint gonna fall off overnight! Was looking back through some old stuff yesterday and in 2001 I was around 156kg and obviously thought I had a problem then as it was an old WW thing I was looking at! Also stopped smoking about 4 years ago so all in all have piled on 30+ kgs in past 8 years. SCARY!
Right might go have a look at this excercyle I dragged out of the garage on the weekend and see if I can get it going - be better for me than sitting here rabbiting on I'm sure!

Not such a good week ...

in fact not great all round! Have been feeling like crap since Sunday, completely blown my points twice since last weigh in and after going to the gym with Tracey on Fri have done absolutely no excercise since! :-(
Completely fell off the rails last night and not a clue why! Thank God most of the stuff in my house is now low fat (and I was broke and too lazy to go out anyway) so didn't go to the extreme I could have but was bad enough anyway!
I'd had a good tea and then for some reason came upstairs and just started munching my way through anything I could get my hands on! I had rice crackers and cottage cheese, cheese slices, at least 6 assorted muesli/snack bars (mainly WW products) a couple of fruit bars, a chuppa chup .. think that was all but man when I get in that zone I could eat anything! It's almost unconscious bingeing/binging (mmm how do you spell that or is it even a word lol)
Prior to that I'd over done it at the 70th on Sat night with the supper so all in all not the best week for me!
I wish I knew what caused these moments cos then I might be able to stop them! I know it's not hunger that's for sure! Deprivation maybe? Although really no need to feel like that either as I've always said the best thing about WW is that you CAN eat whatever you like! I don't think I binge like that when I'm not trying to lose weight though? Or maybe I just do it from dawn to dusk instead of in one sitting? AAAARGH it's so frustrating and I wish I could understand why I do it! Anyone else have similar experiences? How do you get through it/stop yourself? Any suggestions gratefully recieved!
God, maybe I should rename this blog 'ramblings of a mad woman' lol sorry to go on so much but need to get it off my chest!
Anyway, am back on track again today and can hopefully stay there for a while too! Taken the day off work today to try and get on top of my feeling so crappy but not quite sure what that is either. Kinda feel like I may have a urinary infection but don't quite see how as would have thought the amount of water I'm drinking lately would drown anything lol. Also feeling really bloated and crampy but not even TTOTM??? Don't know what's going on with the poor old body - maybe it's gone into shock from all the healthy changes lately lol. Oh well still got my sense of humour @ least!
NOT looking forward to weigh in on Thurs as I know I'll be very lucky not to put on but I will go and face the music anyway and will let you all know how I go. Hope everyone's having a great week. TNT xoxo

Went to the gym...

and Tracey showed me all the big scary equipment and made me have a go at everything so I would know how it all worked. Not convinced that the gym is going to be my thing! But ... I've paid the subscription now so tough - will have to learn to love it I guess! Broke into a sweat just checking out how it all worked so can only imagine what a 'real' workout will be like! But I held my head high and thought I have just as much right to be here as anyone else does (thanks for the words of encouragement there Rhonda). Got a busy weekend as it is my Dad's partners 70th birthday today so big party planned for tonight. Have decided not to drink alcohol but will allow some points for supper instead so hopefully there'll be some healthy choices to choose from. Think I will give the gym another try on my own either Sun afternoon when I get back or Mon after work. Will keep you posted. TNT xoxo

Woo freakn hoo!!!!!

lost 2.8 tonight making my total loss over the past three weeks 6.7kgs so I am absolutely over the moon! Don't know what I was so worried about earlier in the week! I feel great! Going to the gym tomorrow with Tracey to hold my hand (she's the trainer person) so hopefully after tomorrow I wont be so scared of the place and will even get brave enough to go on my own!
Think the whole daylight saving thing combined with early morning aqua aerobic classes are catching up so I'm off to bed now for an early night. TNT xoxo