Down or dead!

Yay for being back on track!

2010-06-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

Well it worked! I managed to get back on track - exercised my butt off, drank heaps of water and tracked religiously and ... I lost 3.8kgs this week!!! No that's not a typo - I really do mean 3.8 kilos! How awesome is that??? Pretty damn amazing I think if I do say so myself lol.
Only 1.7 to go to get to -30kg now so it's finally looking achievable again. Worked out last night I'd had 4 gains in 4 weeks (ouch) but lost all that bar 200g last night so all is good.
It's great to be back on track and in the zone again. Here's hoping I can stay there for a while at least this time lol.
Ok, better go off to work I guess - yay Friday!
Stay safe out there people,
Cyndi xoxo

Day one - AGAIN

2010-06-17T23:27:00.000-07:00

Right, here we go again. I have mucked around enough. Put on enough weight. Wasted enough money. This year has been a bit of a non event as far as weight loss goes so far but all that is about to change. As of this morning the past is in the past where it belongs and I'm moving onwards and downwards! I WILL DO THIS! YOU JUST WATCH ME!

Explaining the photos!

2010-06-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

OMG I am so not blog literate! Took me forever to upload those photos earlier and even then they are not how I want them! I wanted the fattest ones first then moving down to more recent but um ... didn't work and I wanted captions underneath them but nope that not working either! Anyway, not sure if you can see any difference in them or not but the bottom two are when I first started in September 09, the next two in Oct 09 after losing 10kg and then the last two in Dec after losing 20kg. Still waiting to be able to take 30kg ones!
Have been really struggling for a while now and just thought maybe posting some photos would remind me of how far I have come and encourage me to keep going. Watch this space!

Photos

2010-06-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

Trying to upload some photos!

Where does time go???

2010-05-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

Mmm where does that time go??? It's been ages since I last wrote in here! Well I'd like to say that things have been going really well and that I'm on target to my 40kg by my 40th but ... unfortunately that wouldn't be quite true :-( The sad reality is that I'm still struggling to get to the 30kg mark and since Xmas have lost and gained the same 3 kg countless times. I've gotten within a couple of hundred grams a couple of times and then been 3 kg+ away at others. I guess on a positive note I am still hanging in there and have not given up entirely but boy am I sick of the yoyo effect! No-one to blame but myself - just can't seem to get my head in the game anymore.
Just been down to the local produce shop and got me lots of yummy fruit for the week so hopefully can turn things around again before WI day on Thurs cos the weekend certainly hasn't been great so far!
Watch this space - I'll try to remember to blog more often ... yeah, yeah I know - it's been said before lol.
Til next time,
Cyns xoxo

Monday already!

2010-04-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I've managed to stick to the plan for the past 3 days so that in itself is a minor miracle! Na, actually lets be honest - it's a totally MAJOR miracle lol. I'm not feeling overly enthused or inspired but at least I'm doing it! No exercise yet but I have had my 3 year old god daughter staying all weekend so been a little difficult there BUT I am going to go to an aqua aerobics class shortly and will go for a walk with my wonderfully supportive WW buddies this afternoon. Then the plan is aqua on both Tues and Thurs morn (with WW buddies). Last Thurs I was ready to throw the towel in and these two wonderful ladies somehow managed to convince me not to give up and even coerced me into planning some exercise that they'll join me in during the week. Amazing support - I am so so lucky!
Anyway, it's been a very lazy day so far, so time to change that and go get active!
Catch you all later :-)

Oh how time flies!

2010-04-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

I had intended to be more regular at posting on here but so far that hasn't quite happened - I tend to be a little sporadic (to say the least) lol.
Well I'm still hanging in there with WW but am struggling big time (again). I just can't seem to get my head in the right space anymore. I worked out earlier that so far this year I have only lost 3.6kgs. Ok, so I hear some of you saying "well it's better than gaining them" and I agree BUT when you consider that in the 3 months prior I lost around 25kg it's really quite pathetic! I need to somehow get my head back in the game but it doesn't seem to quite work just by saying it unfortunately.
BUT on a good note, today has been a great day foodwise, it's now 8.30pm and I still have 9.5 points to play with so supper, here I come! I think I'll have a caramel latte made with milk (4.5) and an apple (1) so can save the other 4 points. Pity I don't have an hot cross buns or chocolate (or maybe just as well lol)!
I'm going to try really hard to make this whole week a good one and have a good loss on Thursday. Hopefully that'll spur me on for the next week. Sounds good in theory anyway - lets just hope I can put it into practice!
Will try to post more often too :-)

Day 2 of back on track

2010-03-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

and all is well so far! Got through yesterday with points to spare. Never quite achieved any exercise but never mind! Today I have! Just been for a walk and boy do I feel buggered now lol. On track food wise and was going to make a quiche for tea but now I've decided to finish the fish chowder I made at lunchtime. Still well within my points so unless something goes drastically wrong in the next few hours it looks like today will be another successful day. I've even managed to drink lots of water! Have still got some points remaining after dinner so there is room for supper if I want it later. Not feeling the greatest or the most positive but at least I'm on track again and hoping that the good feelings will soon follow lol. Right, off to heat up the chowder. Have a good night everyone. I think I'm just gonna have a quiet one and hope there's something worth watching on the box. TNT :-)

I'm back in the game.

2010-03-18T13:14:00.001-07:00

Well so far, so good this morning. I have woken up still feeling positive and ready to move forwards!
Had a yummy breakfast of WW muesli and yoghurt and have planned out the day's menu with 3 points to spare.
I have drunk more water than I probably did the whole past week already and been considering what exercise I might do today and when. Ok I haven't actually done it yet but trust me, even thinking about it is a big improvement lol!
Well, here's to the beginning of me crawling my way back out of this hole and reaching -30kg and beyond!
Hope everyone is having a great day,
Cyns xoxo

Ok. I went, I put on and now I'm moving on!

2010-03-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

A gain of 1.7 which was bad but not as bad as I expected believe it or not. I was brave enough to say out loud in the meeting that I am really struggling and somehow it really seemed to help and make me want to get back on track again. Tonight I am going to sit down and at least plan out my menu for tomorrow. One day at a time!

Well I am going to go to WW tonight

2010-03-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

even though I really don't want to go! But I don't want to die either and when it comes down to it that's the bottom line ay and the reason I started this. I wonder how much weight it is physically possible to put on in 7 days? I guess I'll be finding out tonight! I have no idea how I'm going to get my head back in the right space but am going to the meeting and hoping like hell something will click into place. Wish me luck ...

I've lost it and I don't know where to find it!

2010-03-16T19:57:00.009-07:00

I can't get back into the swing of things at all and instead of getting back on track Monday morning as I told myself (and you) that I would, I've gone even further off track. For the first time since I started this journey I'm at the point where I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to keep hanging in there and I'm scared! I just seem to have lost all motivation for everything at the moment and I'm unsure how to get it back. I think maybe I'm a bit depressed again (although I'm taking my happy pills and have been for quite some time now). I know in theory all the things I could and should be doing to make myself feel better but I just don't have the energy :-( A diet consisting of constant bad food choices, no exercise and not even drinking much water lately will NOT be helping things either I know). But, how to get off this downward merry go round and find my mojo again? That is the question. If only I could figure out the answer!

2010-03-13T16:21:00.000-08:00

Well, last time I posted I was excited to be almost at -20kg.
Am pleased to report that that has long since gone for good and now I'm heading towards -30kg. The week before last I was only 300gms from there but after a huge unexpected gain last week I've unfortunately slid back in the other direction (temporarily I might add)!
Since last posting there's been lots going on in my life including my Dad being diagnosed with cancer which sent me into a spin for a bit. (I lost my Mum to cancer in 2000 and while Dad's is supposedly not terminal it still brought up a whole heap of stuff for me that I thought was long since dealt with). Add to that a teenage son who's been unstable and unsettled and me starting a new job - which 8 weeks in I'm really not liking all that much, life has been a little stressful at times shall we say!
Anyway, somehow, despite all this I have managed to stay reasonably focused on the whole weight loss thing and most of the time the scales have been heading in the right direction.
Since my gain last week I have gone a little (actually lots to be honest) off the rails. I wasn't expecting a gain and didn't feel it was deserved which sent me off into a spin where I just seemed to be thinking "F**K it! What's the point?" So after a terrible few days that will probably result in another (but this time oh so deserved) gain, I have decided that once again it is time to pick myself up and move on!
Starting tomorrow (I would say right now but I already have the roast pork with crackling in the oven for dinner and god damn I'm gonna enjoy it)! So tomorrow morning from the moment my eyes are open the new and improved attitude is in place and all systems are go again!
My initial goal was 150kg which at the start was 39.7 kg away. It's now only 11.2 (if my maths is right) anyway it's looking like a definitely do-able thing. Add another 300g to that and I'll have lost 40kg and I WILL be there by my 40th which is in July.
Look out world here I come!
Ok well I wont bore you all to tears and will leave it there as I head off to do some much overdue housework.
Take care everyone. TNT,
Cyndi xoxo

I'm back!!!

2010-03-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

Just bought a new computer and yay I can get into my blog again!!! Something must have been disabled on my old computer (I'm blaming the teen)! Woo hoo way cool! Okay no time to write lots now - lots of playing with new toy to be done lol BUT I will update soon and regularly I promise!

Made it to 10%

2009-12-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

and I'm 2 weeks ahead of schedule so am happy, happy, happy about that! That was my Xmas goal and last night when I weighed in it was the 10th of Dec so gotta be pleased with that result huh?!? Only 900g to go to -20kg so even that's looking realistic by Xmas now! Wow I'm really doing it this time - this is the most I've ever lost as usually given up long ago but NOT this time. This is for life and I'm gonna get to goal and stay there, so watch this space people! Damn WW site is doing 'maintenance' this morning so can't even get on there to gloat lol.
Got our Xmas work do tomorrow night and as it will be my final one due to the new job I intend to be making the most of the complimentary drinkies lol. I know I'll be going over points but am not worried about it as I figure hey it's one night and damn it I'm going to enjoy and make the most of it. I'm so in the zone so I know getting back on track the next day won't be a problem. Have lost 4.5 kg in the past 2 weeks so am quite happy to accept a small loss or even stay the same next week so long as I don't put on! Doesn't mean I'm gonna go crazy and eat/drink everything in sight - just that I'm not going to be too concerned about points!
Anyway, I think I might go to the 9am aqua class this morning as I've missed a few lately so better get off here and go get organized. TNT xoxo

I got the job!

2009-12-07T12:52:00.001-08:00

It sounds so cool! I am very excited and start 18th Jan next year. Handed in my notice yesterday and told my workmates so is all really happening. The new place was very cool and definitely somewhere I can see me fitting right into. They seem to have a similar philosophy to where I am currently but much more of a whanau (family) focus and lots of babies which suits me down to the ground as under 2's are my real passion and currently I am working with 2-5 year olds.
Foodwise all is good, been pretty slack in the exercise area but just feeling really tired at the moment for some reason - I'm sure I'll come right again! Maybe I just need to push myself to get out there and do it and I'll probably feel better for it!
Anyway better go do some of that dreaded housework stuff! TNT
Cyndi :-)

I'm so excited!!!

2009-12-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

Despite the hiccups re TTOTM I totally blitzed my desired loss of 400g to get me to -15kg with a fantastic loss of 2.4 taking my total loss now to 17kg! Woo hoo, go me lol. Only 2 kg to get to my Xmas goal of 10% and 3kg until I reach -20kg so I'm feeling fantastic right now and very proud of myself! Got a call re job interview and they said "they are very interested in offering me the position" and I'm going in today to spend some time in the centre and see if it feels like it fits with me. So fingers crossed but it's certainly sounding pretty good! Life seems to just finally be falling into place at the moment - it's taken nearly 40years but it suddenly just feels great! Bring it on I say lol.
Ok better fly and get myself organized for the day. Hope everyone has a fabulous Friday. TNT xoxo

ticking along on Tuesday

2009-11-30T18:20:00.000-08:00

Took yesterday and today off due to my little 'women's problem' which has been absolutely terrible that past couple of days but finally this afternoon seems to be easing up thank GOD! I am sooo tired today all I want to do is sleep. I did go back to bed for an hour or so this morning but still feel like i could have another wee snooze this afternoon.
I did go to the Dr and amongst other things I have agreed to go on the pill to see if it will help regulate things a bit, so here's hoping.
Had a job interview yesterday afternoon and I think it went pretty well so I will find out one way or the other by Friday. Scary stuff! I love it where I am working at the moment but not enough hours and also just time for a change and some new challenges. Will let you know how it goes.
This week has been good food wise, all on track and been trying out some yummy new things.
Excercise kinda went out the window a bit but that's been due to the bleeding problem so hopefully can get back to the plan with that now too.
Well I promised myself I'd do some work on my children's profile books for work today and so far I haven't touched them so guess I'd better go get busy lol. TNT :-)

Monday already!

2009-11-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Wow where did the weekend go? Mine has been really good points wise and stuck to the excercise plan except I swapped my Sat morn walk for an aqua aerobics class instead so all good there! Hadn't been able to do my usual aqua classes due to being TTOTM so when it had gone by Fri night I was keen to get back in the water Sat morning! All good until I got home from pool and then boom (or should I say gush)! Monthly visitor is back with a vengeance and hasn't let up since! Has been bloody (excuse the pun lol) awful! I have been flooding ever since and it's so bad I'm not even going into work today. After putting it out there on the WW boards yesterday I have decided to make an appt to see my Dr this morning if I can get in. This is ridiculous! I have barely left the house all weekend because of it and have been through 3 packs of MATERNITY pads in the past 48 hours. And thats not including having to use a towel overnight! Far out - what the hell is going on??? All this on top of already having it for a week! Anyway sorry to go on but the reason I'm even mentioning it is that I did wonder if it had anything to do with losing weight? Still not sure but will see what doc has to say about that too.
Meantime I'm gonna stay home from work as everytime I move I flood so being at work would be a nuisance to say the least. I hope it's under control by 5.30 as I have a job interview then and last thing I need to do is leave a bloody puddle on my seat there (I'm sure that would make a lovely impression on them - NOT)! Will go regardless obviously so wish me luck.
So looks like I'm going to have to swap tonights planned swim for a land activity instead so I guess I'll be out walking instead. In fact I think I might go this morning.
Going to have poached eggs on toast for breaky and have planned a prawn and asparagus salad for lunch so all sounding yummy. No idea what tea will be yet but hey it is only 6.30am so I'm doing well lol.
Ok better go ring the boss to see if she can get someone to cover me. I may have to go in for a couple of hours as it's a bit hard to find a reliever willing and able to start at 7.30am!
TNT,
Cyndi xoxo

so far so good

2009-11-26T10:26:00.000-08:00

Have been up and out walking this morning. I must say it is a whole lot easier with proper shoes (mind you the amount I paid for them they oughta feel fantastic lol). This week is going to be a bit of a challenge for me foodwise I think as I just realized how broke I am and payday not til Wed and got hardly any veges! I'm sure I'll survive though maybe I'll have to raid friends gardens! Might see if I can scrape together what I do have and go to the market over the weekend too. Anyway it's looking like it's going to be a beautiful day here today so I guess i'd better hit the shower and get organized for work - Ugh! Am going to try to do the 'jellimeat routine' tonight so will factor that into my excercise as well. For those of you now wondering what the hell I'm on about (hehe) that's my weight routine. I don't own any proper weights so use two tins of cat food instead, hence the name lol. Everybody have a great day and I'll check in later on if I can. Til then xoxo

Back in the game

2009-11-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

Bit the bullet and went to WI tonight and was pleasantly surprised - lost .9 so am pleased with that! Must admit though I did hunt around for the lightest clothes I had (while still remaining decent) before going lol. I know, I know it's only cheating myself BUT I so know if I'd put on again I could so easily have spun right back into that bad space again!
At the end of each meeting our leader gets us to tell the person next to us the one thing we're going to do to help with our weight loss this week and I told Andrea and Jessica I was going to exercise 5 (yes you read that right) 5x this week! So the plan is;

Friday - early morning walk
Saturday - same again
Sunday - DAY OF REST!
Monday - evening swim
Tuesday - morning aqua aerobics
Wednesday - maybe I will, maybe I wont lol
Thursday - morning aqua aerobics

That combined with sticking within my points is going to take me over and beyond the - 15kg mark at next weeks WI. As it stands tonight I only have 300g until I get there so wish me luck! TNT
C xoxo

Struggling (again)

2009-11-24T16:02:00.000-08:00

Gosh just read last post and was sounding so positive - where did that go and how do I find it again??? Then I had 700g to go to reach 15kg - now - hmmm ... put on 600 last week so then I had 1.5 to get to -15kg, now with WI looming tomorrow night I'm pretty sure I'm heading in the wrong direction again!
So far today has been a good one points wise but the rest of the week has been pretty much crap!
Was feeling gutted after my gain on Thurs night and not quite sure why as I had been good and even done more exercise than usual. Next morning I woke up with my period and figured that explained it so all good so far.
Had bought myself some naughty treats after weigh in with the intention of getting back on track Fri but couldn't eat all I'd bought so it was still hanging around Fri (there goes that day), Sat was pretty good I think, Sun wasn't too bad either, Mon started off well and then fell apart once I got home from work (didn't even track so God only knows what I ate exactly), yesterday I didn't track at all so obviously that wasn't great either, and today so far so good.
Also no exercise since last Thurs aqua class and bugger all water some days so I'm thinking tomorrow nights results are not going to be great :-( Usually I track everything, drink at least 3 pump bottles of water and exercise a minimum of twice a week).
Am really pissed off with myself but it's all a bit late for that isn't it! I noticed last month at TTOTM I was a bit the same (or am I just using it as an excuse)??? Have been feeling really blah the past week though - fat, bloated, pimply, hair greasy, lethargic, moody, tearful ... oh the joys of being a woman huh.
Anyway enough of this self pity bull*#@t - time to sort it out and get it together again. I have discovered (funnily enough) that sometimes just writing it all down and getting it out there actually does help! Am feeling better about things already! I so need to write in here a lot more often than I do. Also posted on WW message boards this morning too - very supportive bunch of people there!
Am enjoying a lovely point friendly treat of a punnet of strawberries while I type this. Honestly with food this delicious who needs all that other fattening rubbish??? Also had really nice lunch of prawn, sweet chilli and rice wraps and was only 3 1/2 points mmm mmm.
Ok going to go do some paper work now and then think I will put on the new walking shoes and get out in the fresh air for a bit (and do some exercise at the same time lol) TNT (which will be sooner rather than later)!

Going strong...

2009-11-13T15:35:00.000-08:00

Well I've been a bit slack with the posting lately sorry but at least been good in other areas! Would be so easy to spend half my life on the computer if I wasn't careful lol.
Had another good way in this week with a loss of 1.6 taking my grand total to -14.3. Hoping to get to my -15kg mark next week. Current goal is to get to -20kg by Christmas although I realize I may be being a little optimistic here! Will be very happy if I reach my 10% by then though which means I will have had to have lost 19kg in total so 4.7 to go (if my maths is correct lol).
Am really starting to notice a difference now - heaps more energy, things have just become easier eg stairs, getting up off the floor etc, the nana naps happen less often, my overall mood is much better, I'm sleeping better, less headaches .... the list goes on! Amazing after such a small portion of what I have yet to lose. I can only imagine how fantastic I'm gonna feel in the end!
I tried on a top last night that wouldn't go anywhere near me when I bought it so has never been worn. I loved it so much though I couldn't bear to part with it so it's sat in my wardrobe for nearly 3 years with the tags still attached just waiting for me to get my act together! Anyway ... I can do it up now!!! The buttons actually meet!!! It's still a bit fitting for me to actually feel comfortable wearing it but I can see me in it soon now!
Anyway, must go and finish the dreaded housework and then get stuck into some paperwork for work. Oh joy! Trying to get everything up to date before the Xmas rush though (and before I have three weeks off - YEEHAH).
Hope you're all well and that those of you who are on this weight loss journey with me are having lots of successes too. TNT
Cyndi xoxo

Oh my freakn God !!!!

2009-11-05T01:01:00.001-08:00

I lost 4.5kg this week! I don't quite know how and still can't quite believe it - even though I made the weigher check it not twice, but three times lol. So I lost the 2.3 I gained last week and then some! Grand total is now -12.9 WOO HOO! Has made me feel so motivated again now just exactly what I needed!
Been a long day and not feeling the greatest with a chest infection (coughing kept me awake lots during the night) so think I'll take myself off to bed now. Will try to post again tomorrow> Hope you're all well. TNT xoxo

A good day yesterday and aiming for another today...

2009-10-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well I have really been struggling lately and it showed on the scales Thurs with a whopping great gain of 2.3! Even after that I struggled for a couple of days but finally had a good day points wise yesterday so hoping maybe I'm back on track. I'm certainly feeling a lot more positive today! Wow it's scary when the motivation suddenly just goes. It's like one day I'm fine and the next it's all downhill and feeling like I can't get back on track. Scary stuff. But ... am still hanging in there and still planning on staying there! Not expecting much of a loss this week - but some will be better than none and certainly better than a gain but hoping by the following week it will have evened out again and I'll be back under that dreaded 10kg!
Started off as a beautiful sunny day here today but now it's clouding over and feels like the temperature is dropping! Hope everyone has a great day. TNT xoxo

AAAHHHH!

2009-10-27T23:49:00.001-07:00

That's the sound of me screaming at myself! This week has been terrible. I thought I could make amends by being really strict and all that's happened is I have been ok during the day then completely lost it once I've been home. Two huge binges in two days and no way in hell I wont gain at weigh in tomorrow night. I don't even want to go! What happened to the positive mind set I was talking about just a few short days ago???
I'm really scared as I know this is my old pattern coming back to haunt me again. I can lose 10kg easily then just lose the plot. Was so determined NOT to do that this time but it seems almost out of my control. HELP!!!

well so much for staying on track...

2009-10-26T18:42:00.001-07:00

I fell off the rails completely with two nights of takeaways and lots and lots of alcohol! Had an awesome weekend if you don't count the food though lol. Oh well picked myself up, brushed myself off and back on track today. Going to be VERY strict over next few days until weigh in to see if I can hopefully prevent a gain or if not @ least minimize it! The real difference for me this time is my mindset I think - previously I would have thought "oh well that's it I've blown it now..." and that would have been it. But NO MORE!!! Onwards and downwards lol. TNT xoxo

I'm still here!

2009-10-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hi all. Sorry have been really slack at updating this blog lately but I am still around and still losing! 10.5 kg to date so far!
Things were a little up and down the for a bit a couple of weeks ago but the motivation seems to have come back thank goodness so still chugging along.
After 5 weeks of really good losses I only lost 400g this past week so was a little dissapointed with that but it was also a bit of a wake up call for me too. Had a couple of just ok weeks but still lost well so was thinking I could get away with it lol. Then last week I was really good and had my smallest ever loss so I'm figuring it probably caught up with me!
Off to Wellington to stay with a friend for the weekend so even though I know it will be a little more difficult to stay on track away from home I'm confident that I can do it!
Will post again when I get back and let you all know how it went. Take care everyone and those who are Kiwis enjoy your long weekend! Not sure if you get it in Oz??? TNT xoxo

Can feel that motivation slipping

2009-10-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

and I'm scared! Got far too much weight to lose to be feeling like that. And why do I? It's not like it's hard to eat healthily or stay within points. Today on the way home from work I called into McD's a bought a burger, then came home and went to sleep. An old habit that I haven't done since joining WW. Was a very busy day @ work and I was very tired but still... Mind you I didn't get the fries or coke that I normally would have so I guess that's an improvement. Just been little things in the past few weeks - the odd uncounted treat, the decreasing amount of excercise, and my mindset that worry me that i'm starting to lose motivation. History says I do this around the 10kg mark and I have no idea why. This time I really want to get over that and carry on. Anyone have any suggestions, tips, arse kicking thoughts for me???

Good loss depite bad week!

2009-10-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well I'm not quite sure how but despite my not so great week I had another really good loss last night at WI!?! Am obviously pleased but a little surprised as I honestly thought I'd be lucky to stay the same - if not put on! Let's hope it doesn't all catch up this week lol.
Have decided I'm going to try extra hard this week as I want to wipe out my next two goals - got .9 to lose to get to 5% goal and 1.4 to lose to reach 10kg goal so if I can do that I will be ecstatic! (1.4 is my smallest loss so far so should be achievable if I put my mind to it).
At WW meeting last night we had to tell the person next to us what we intended to do this week and I committed to going to the gym twice this week so that is my goal for this week. Aqua aerobics Tues and Thurs and gym today and at least one other day!
Ok well better go get myself organised then as I 'm not working today and I find it is very easy to waste the whole day and achieve bugger all! Hope eveyone is well and has a great day. TNT xoxo

P.S.

2009-10-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

I did manage to drink only water at the 70th on the weekend so that was fantastic and no hangover either - was just the supper where I went a little crazy! Oh well could easily have been both and I have to remember - it took me nearly 40 years to get to this size so it aint gonna fall off overnight! Was looking back through some old stuff yesterday and in 2001 I was around 156kg and obviously thought I had a problem then as it was an old WW thing I was looking at! Also stopped smoking about 4 years ago so all in all have piled on 30+ kgs in past 8 years. SCARY!
Right might go have a look at this excercyle I dragged out of the garage on the weekend and see if I can get it going - be better for me than sitting here rabbiting on I'm sure!

Not such a good week ...

2009-10-05T16:09:00.000-07:00

in fact not great all round! Have been feeling like crap since Sunday, completely blown my points twice since last weigh in and after going to the gym with Tracey on Fri have done absolutely no excercise since! :-(
Completely fell off the rails last night and not a clue why! Thank God most of the stuff in my house is now low fat (and I was broke and too lazy to go out anyway) so didn't go to the extreme I could have but was bad enough anyway!
I'd had a good tea and then for some reason came upstairs and just started munching my way through anything I could get my hands on! I had rice crackers and cottage cheese, cheese slices, at least 6 assorted muesli/snack bars (mainly WW products) a couple of fruit bars, a chuppa chup .. think that was all but man when I get in that zone I could eat anything! It's almost unconscious bingeing/binging (mmm how do you spell that or is it even a word lol)
Prior to that I'd over done it at the 70th on Sat night with the supper so all in all not the best week for me!
I wish I knew what caused these moments cos then I might be able to stop them! I know it's not hunger that's for sure! Deprivation maybe? Although really no need to feel like that either as I've always said the best thing about WW is that you CAN eat whatever you like! I don't think I binge like that when I'm not trying to lose weight though? Or maybe I just do it from dawn to dusk instead of in one sitting? AAAARGH it's so frustrating and I wish I could understand why I do it! Anyone else have similar experiences? How do you get through it/stop yourself? Any suggestions gratefully recieved!
God, maybe I should rename this blog 'ramblings of a mad woman' lol sorry to go on so much but need to get it off my chest!
Anyway, am back on track again today and can hopefully stay there for a while too! Taken the day off work today to try and get on top of my feeling so crappy but not quite sure what that is either. Kinda feel like I may have a urinary infection but don't quite see how as would have thought the amount of water I'm drinking lately would drown anything lol. Also feeling really bloated and crampy but not even TTOTM??? Don't know what's going on with the poor old body - maybe it's gone into shock from all the healthy changes lately lol. Oh well still got my sense of humour @ least!
NOT looking forward to weigh in on Thurs as I know I'll be very lucky not to put on but I will go and face the music anyway and will let you all know how I go. Hope everyone's having a great week. TNT xoxo

Went to the gym...

2009-10-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

and Tracey showed me all the big scary equipment and made me have a go at everything so I would know how it all worked. Not convinced that the gym is going to be my thing! But ... I've paid the subscription now so tough - will have to learn to love it I guess! Broke into a sweat just checking out how it all worked so can only imagine what a 'real' workout will be like! But I held my head high and thought I have just as much right to be here as anyone else does (thanks for the words of encouragement there Rhonda). Got a busy weekend as it is my Dad's partners 70th birthday today so big party planned for tonight. Have decided not to drink alcohol but will allow some points for supper instead so hopefully there'll be some healthy choices to choose from. Think I will give the gym another try on my own either Sun afternoon when I get back or Mon after work. Will keep you posted. TNT xoxo

Woo freakn hoo!!!!!

2009-10-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

lost 2.8 tonight making my total loss over the past three weeks 6.7kgs so I am absolutely over the moon! Don't know what I was so worried about earlier in the week! I feel great! Going to the gym tomorrow with Tracey to hold my hand (she's the trainer person) so hopefully after tomorrow I wont be so scared of the place and will even get brave enough to go on my own!
Think the whole daylight saving thing combined with early morning aqua aerobic classes are catching up so I'm off to bed now for an early night. TNT xoxo

Nearly the end of week 3

2009-09-30T01:43:00.000-07:00

and haven't been quite so strict this week so am a little worried about tomorrow nights weigh in! Apart from the god sons birthday I've been sticking pretty much to my points but am worried now that maybe I haven't eaten enough! After Sat night I decided to reduce my points by 4 per day for the rest of the week to make up for it so I should be fine but also aware that not eating enough points is not always beneficial either! Oh well I guess I'll just have to wait and see what the scales have to say tomorrow night and if it's not so great at least I'll know where I went wrong ay!
Had an awesome day today, went on a professional development course where I learnt to play the ukulele! It was fantastic!!!! I suck but at least I've got enthusiasm lol and can only get better (hopefully) with LOTS of practice! (I'm an Early Childhood Teacher for those of you who were wondering lol).
I was a bit worried about lunch as it was provided but there were lots of yummy healthy choices so I opted for those and avoided the savouries and creamy cake. Went for a herbal tea at morning tea and bypassed the muffin too. Hell I'd better lose some weight tomorrow - I think I deserve to just for that! Feeling good though and have stuck within my points and just finished off the day with a WW chocolate cheesecake (very yummy) and a chupa chup (mmm).
Off to aqua aerobics again in the morning (still loving it) and have organised for my 'physical activities co-ordinator' to hold my hand at the gym on Fri afternoon as I still haven't worked up the courage to put my foot through that door on my own yet! I don't know what it is but I just find the whole gym thing a little bit (actually a big bit) scary! Best I get over that pretty soon as I've signed up for 12 months so be stupid not to take advantage of it.
Off to bed now so will post again tomorrow and update my progress. TNT xoxo

First slip up :-(

2009-09-26T02:29:00.000-07:00

Today I had my 9 year old godson and we went to KFC (his choice for his birthday) but I was good and had a chicken fillet salad, then to the pools where we floundered around and chased one another in the water for a couple of hours (good excercise)! So all sounds great ay? Then I take him home and his Mum had put on a bit of a spread for him and not a healthy choice in sight, so what did I do? I ate savouries and sausage rolls and cheerios and chippies and then topped it all off with a piece of birthday cake! Damn it all I am dissapointed with myself :-( but then on the bright side I'm thinking ok it was bad but I didn't totally lose it like I have in the past and am already thinking back on track tomorrow and ... I'm on here telling you guys about it instead of eating!Wow that was a big, long blow out, but I do feel better now I've got it off my chest!
Yesterday I signed up for 12 months membership at the pools where I go swimming, which gives me unlimited access to all the facilities in the complex - pools, GYM!!!, aqua aerobic classes etc as I can fit in! I'm scared of the gym but am so gonna do it and after todays slip up perhaps I'd better start tomorrow! Oh well onwards and upwards - or in this case downwards lol.
P.S. Can't work out how to reply to anyone's comments on here so I'm not ignoring you and do appreciate the support. I think I have to sign up to something to be able to comment? If anyone knows how this works please let me know. Ta. TNT xoxo

Yeehah another 1.4 gone

2009-09-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

and feeling great! Aqua aerobics again this morning and still loving it. Next week will be a challenge with daylight saving and the early morning but will see how it goes. Not giving up on the class will just maybe catch a later one lol. Although at that hour of the morning at least there's no excuses of things cropping up that could happen later in the day I guess! Weigh in tonight and down 1.4 making my total loss in 2 weeks 3.9kg!!! Gosh it's possible I could get to my 1st 5kgs next week even! Here's hoping but also trying not to put too much pressure on myself. Slow and steady wins the race ay. TNT xoxo

I loved it!

2009-09-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

Aqua aerobics was great I loved it (and trust me I have NEVER said that about any form of excercise before)! Going back again in the morning for another go. Been a long day today - straight from work to a meeting and then did groceries before getting home so am knackered and off to bed soon. It's neat discovering all these new low fat treats that I never even knew were available before and some of them are really yummy! The WW sour cream and chive potato crisps are even better than chippies! Weigh in tomorrow so post how it goes. Been another good week so heres hoping the scales tell the same story! TNT (til next time for those of you who don't do text speak lol) I'm just thinking I'm clever as I finally worked out what that means!

Off to Aqua Aerobics

2009-09-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

Now how's this for dedication? It's not even 6am and I'm up (miracle #1), functional(miracle #2) and going to aqua aerobics before work (miracles will never cease)!!! Been a good week so far, had a real hungry day yesterday, not sure why as chose lots of filling foods but just the way it goes sometimes I guess. Managed to stick within points range though so all is good. Right best get myself down to the pools so maybe I'll log in later on and let you know how it all goes!

I did it!!!

2009-09-19T01:07:00.000-07:00

went to the BBQ made some awesome choices and feel really good about them! Had yummy lunch of steak, kebeb and lots of salad with beetroot and asparagus on the side and chose fresh fruit as dessert! Wow I can do this. Washed it all down with coke zero and came home with points to spare - feeling great! Thanks guys for your comments and wow I feel like a pop star with 'followers' lol. Not sure yet how to reply to anyone directly but I'm sure I'll work it out eventually! Cold, miserable evening here and decided not to go to surprise party (one can only be so social in a day lol) so I'm going to indulge and curl up in front of TV with a blanket and some point friendly snacks.

2009-09-18T01:53:00.000-07:00

Am feeling great! This is the 1st day of my second week with weight watchers and so far so good. I lost 2.5kgs when I weighed in last night so am really pleased with that. It's very scary going public like this but as I said in my profile I figure the more people who know about this the more likely I am to not give up! This weekend is going to be a bit of a challenge for me as I have a family 50th birthday BBQ lunch tomorrow and then a surprise party for a friend in the evening. I'm going armed with diet coke as I know myself too well and after a few alcoholic drinks it'll be oh well may as well eat heaps too! Wish me luck. I feel really positive about this journey and hope I can always remain this positive but sadly I know from previous experience that times will get tough! That's where you guys come in helping me to stay on the right track. Will post again soon,
C xoxo